Letter To My Daughters: Your Relationship Goals

We live in times where the internet has taken over, that is no secret. With the rise of social media, we have been witnesses to the hashtag concept. We use hashtags for everything in order to spot, gather and follow all content in relation to the said hashtag. And one of the most popular ones is undeniably #RelationShipGoals.

It is also a known fact that one of the main yearning desires in our lives is to find a romantic partner to live our love stories with. Whether we are feeling lonely, we have a life project, we crave affection or are being pressured by our families, it becomes tough to avoid wanting a relationship.

As a mother of three beautiful young girls, I have been wondering lately what I would answer them were they to ask me what is a good relationship. What should they look for in a mate should they be ready to embark themselves in such an adventure?

In the present time, I believe my answer to them would go as follows:

My dear daughters,

The ‘perfect’ mate does not exist. We are all humans and we are all flawed. Looking for someone who will not disappoint is a sure path to…disappointment. Therefore, my first advice to you, my beloved, would be to look for happiness and joy within yourself and, most importantly, in God. Once you have integrated this notion, you will be ready to seek a partner.

If the perfect person does not exist, the perfect person for you definitely does! Seek someone who will help you and accompany you in the type of life you want to live. Here also, it starts with you. Seek out someone who shares your core values, who understands your expectations, who has a plan for themselves, but who leaves out space for partnership…with you. The perfect man for you will be the man that will see your value, who will want to take good care of you, and who will inspire you the desire to take good care of him.

The wise woman knows to not be infatuated with men who will serve her no good. The careful woman will look for a mate who can appreciate her physical beauty, as she puts effort and consideration in looking good. The self-loving woman will also spot a man who can detect her inner beauty, her virtues. He will be the one who can easily distinguish her from others, who stands firm on the reason he chose her, and none other.

My daughters, simply put: choose someone who has matured enough to know himself, choose his path, been able to envision his woman and longs to commit. The cherry on top, trust me on this, is to opt for a man who consistently walks with God. Often enough, the rest will fall into place for you as a couple when you both put the effort into giving yourselves to God, as individuals. If you are skeptical about this last piece of advice, try it for yourself and thank God later.

Lastly, this man needs to be physically attractive to you as well because, frankly, who wants to sleep next to someone with no desire to, err, fully connect?

So, there you have it. In fewer words, you will need an attractive, committed, intelligent, mature, and God-fearing man.

May I mention, in addition to your quest, to focus on what you can offer this man, as it is so easy to look for what we can gain and neglect to put effort into what we have to give.

Study hard, read often, entertain healthy friendships, pray relentlessly, keep your health in check, be generous, and invest in your own growth. Work on being wholesome young women and the right man will inevitably be driven to you.

Hopefully, you all find this in your romantic lives and end up in healthy and happy unions, or shall we call them #RelationshipGoals.